The Suzi Tinder Dating Chronicles: The Ghost Who Walks

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So I bet you’ve all been waiting with bated breath for the next chapter right? So, what’s going on with Mr. Darcy?!?!!? Several of you have contacted me directly. I’m secretly thrilled you’re all enamoured with my love life. Desperate to see a happy ending?! You and me both, darling… Well. I’ve quite the development for you. First things first though, for those who are happily coupled, you might not be familiar with all the online dating lingo that’s flying about these days. Let’s have a quick run through, because I will refer to some of it in this blog;

 FWB: Friends with benefits. See also NSA (No strings attached) and DTF (Down to f^%$), f&^Boy –Interested in a sexual encounter without any commitment to EVER seeing you again.   Normally there’s three categories, firstly, they’re married. Secondly, they’re fairly recently separated and would rather wake up in a bath of ice, missing a kidney than ever put themselves into a situation where they may have to make a commitment. Lastly, back packers/travellers/STI carriers.

Textationship: You can see where this is going? It’s a relationship based on text. That’s minimal face to face contact or actual conversations on the phone. Everything is done via text. Arranging dates done via text, get to know you via text. No one wants this at all. As much as guys on tinder complain about women who refuse to meet them, this works the other way too. What happened to dating? I don’t want to hear your entire life story via text. Tell me in person.

Ghosting: Allow me to straight copy and paste from urban dictionary for this one: “Ghosting is the act of suddenly ceasing all communication with someone the subject is dating, but no longer wishes to date. This is done in hopes that the ghostee will just “get the hint” and leave the subject alone, as opposed to the subject simply telling them he/she is no longer interested. Ghosting is not specific to a certain gender and is closely related to the subject’s maturity and communication skills. Many attempt to justify ghosting as a way to cease dating the ghostee without hurting their feelings, but it in fact proves the subject is thinking more of themselves, as ghosting often creates more confusion for the ghostee than if the subject kindly stated how he/she feels.” Thanks Urban Dictionary. Spot on.

Here’s my opinion. Ghosting has a place. OK banter on Tinder so you swap numbers. Ol’ mate has turned out to be particularly creepy via text and you’re no longer interested. Ok to block. Especially if they’re openly rude or hostile. You’ve actually met this person? Maybe after one date? I won’t lie, it’s more respectful to just text like “hey, thank you for taking the time to meet me but I’m no longer interested.” I know those who ghost after a first date and their dates ghost too, so you go from speaking, you meet and you both, without physically communicating it, know you’re not right for each other and you never speak again. If you’ve met this person a lot more than once and they like you? Ghosting is not ok. It’s rude.

Those three will do for now I guess. But now that you’re all up to speed on the lingo the update is as follows. I’ve been ghosted. Thus the last several days have been a mixture of bewilderment, mystification, anger, denial and bargaining. Where am I at now? The only relevant excuse I would accept for being ghosted was that maybe he went to the zoo and fell into the monkey enclosure and had all his extremities ripped from his torso then all the monkeys beat him to death with his own arms and legs. It could happen. I’d feel pretty bad if it did. Lost phone? Email… Busy work load? *shrug. It doesn’t really matter. A textationship isn’t really anything at all, is it? After several martini’s on the weekend I deleted Mr. Darcy’s number from my phone and decided to go out on a limb and accept a blind date from a work colleague. Not completely blind, I saw a photo. He’s pretty cute and apparently has a good sense of humour so as long as he isn’t immediately NSA and DTF, the next Chronical you read might be a bit more upbeat!

Wish me luck 🙂

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