The Bachelor Recap Ep. 8 – Shit show

Ep. 8. The Abbie (Will)/Sogand (Jess) show, like life imitating art, continues on its merry way with the core of the argument that at 23, Abbie is not ready to get married and have kids. And that makes her a monster?? I’d like to publicly thank channel 10 for setting women’s rights back five decades, not just with that sentiment, but with all the infighting and misrepresentation. Shame on you. So can’t wait for next season already.

This time we got to meet our Bachies best friend, Kate. Poor poor Kate. How hard must it be to invest so much energy hiding the fact she’s well and truly in love with Matt, and then having to grill Matt’s hot potential love interests on top of that. There’s some inner turmoil right there. If that were me there wouldn’t be enough cake in the world to eat those feelings away. I think perhaps she feels the same. Anyway, my girl Elly won the rose, and hello china girl Kirsten (Brett) who also scored a rose from her single date. Bit of a dark horse that one. Should have known though… Remember back to the start, whilst holding a gift she uttered “Are you checking out my box?” I nearly choked on my Carls Jr Cookies and cream shake. Their date was no different. Lots of concoctions and body scrubs so when Matt asks her where she would like it (referring to massage location) she replies suggestively with “put it in the back.” Geez girl, tap the breaks. Start with a kiss and see how you progress from there. Don’t know why channel 10 has a thing for getting people dirty, but they both ended up coated in ground coffee. Least I think that’s what it was. Just like the Alex/Richie chocolate bath/sh**show… Matt and Kirsten looked they’d just been rolling in poop. Gross. I’m all for a sensual food display but being 100% coated makes me feel sticky and anxious that a trip to the chemist would be imminent. Don’t mess with your bodies PH levels ok….

Anyway, like a Darwin storm, the build up to the rose ceremony was intense and humid. Sogand (Jess) told Kate that Abbie (Will) was not ready to get married and have kids, therefore being here for the wrong reasons. Rachel (Niraj) is apparently tuning one of the shows crew members (a little tid bit teaser for next week) and since she wasn’t at the group date, I can only imagine sleeping with the enemy has afford her some secrets. So she basically tells Abbie what Sogand has said. Abbie gets upset and thinks she’s going home and in a fairly predictable outcome, ends up staying and tiny 5’1ft Cass (Joel) gets the boot.

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