The Bachelor Recap Ep. 14 – Hometown road

Ep. 14. HOME TOWN DATES my friends! This is usually is my favourite part of the series because you 100% get to see how weird some peoples families are. You get some die-hard middle aged-beer drinking-fishing-footy bogan Dads on there determined to mark their territory and find out if this rando is “good enough for MOI little girl.” There’s a lot of over editing to make it look awkward, but at the end of the day this ep let me down with everything ending up really fluffy. “Seems like a nice guy…” Pfft. Like the Bunyip, that’s a myth. I want to see punch on.

Anyway, Abbie’s first cab off the rank and they head to Brisbane Emporium to the rooftop pool where again, I have to cower into the train window to hide my phone. I honestly don’t know how that man is keeping himself together. The meeting of the family is uneventful and now, more than ever is the time to be strategic. Abbie momentarily puts away the chocolate covered sexual carrot and utters the L word. God that chick is cunning…

Chelsea’s home visit was also uneventful… she ALMOST got the L out but froze at the last minute. She’s still so cute and bashful though, totes my new favourite. Emma… Yeah there’s actually too much L word floating around. Even her mate is like “mate… you’ve had two dates… WTAF?” Here’s where it gets alright. Helena’s home town date is a disaster. Matt pretty much forgets her on the red carpet (You don’t speak French do you? Uh yeah, listen to my funny accent) and it sets off a chain of events where Helena turns into a crying whinger and dumps Matt, then takes him back, then dumps him again and feigns leaving the show cause “I can’t… I can’t.. I just can’t, guys I CAN’T.” Darling, with that accent, you’re missing “AM A” in between I and Can’t. Anyway she rocks up to the rose ceremony like WOTT!?

Blindsided by the blonde, brunette “I love to love” Emma goes home, which is no surprise. No one 30+ has ever been selected in Bachelor history.

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