Ep. 12.Mate, this ep was a banger. Please read, then click the hyper link and watch the Punkee recap because I laughed so hard on the train I snorted really loudly and guy next to me moved seats. So, continuing on from the awkwardness of Helena’s (Honey) date after being picked by the previous Bach winners, she somehow ends up on another single date. Holy crap, this one is intense. Matt lays out a board from 1-10 years and asks her to map out their future. Naturally, I think as we all would, she has a melt down and Matt is mystified. WHAT DO YOU MEAN you can’t tell me in which year you want to have children whilst I date 6 other women? Matt confused. I thought at this point Helena was an out in the rose ceremony f0 sh0. However… they have a weird moment in the bathtub where she says “I like you.” All is forgotten and Matt breaths a sign of relief, has his ego stroked, his feelings validated and she gets a rose.
The group date is the best I’ve ever seen. Everyone comes together to paint their inner queen, hosted by the queeniest queen you ever seen. All of the paintings are.. yeah… ok don’t give up your day jobs… but Abbie’s (Will) … I immediately thought of the girl who climbs out of the TV from The Ring, only she fell into a rainbow first before she tries to kill you. 100% TERRIFYING 100% HILARIOUS. Don’t stare at it too long, it will steal your youth.
Cocktail party, and remember from about 3 minutes ago I told you Elly (Suzi) so selflessly gave up her date card to Abbie (Will) and we were all going to wait patiently for the favour to be returned? Well today is not that day my friends. A seriously violation of the girl code happened on this episode. All the remaining women, discussed, NAE AGREEEEEED Elly was to get the first chance to talk to Matt. Soon as Matt walked in, Abbie was all over that like a seagull on a hot chip. Elly has been triggered. She did get a chance to speak to him and guess what, she was all like “Abbie is hear for the wrong reasons.” Man, like you know what happens when you make it about someone else who isn’t Matt…
The rose ceremony was intense, but ultimately the only chick I didn’t mention from these two recaps went home. 再见 China girl Kirsten (Brett)… Over Abbie… OH THE INJUSTICE!!