The Bachelor Recap Ep.10 – #straya

Ep. 10. Group date is all about yoga pants at the circus with a dude who had THE BIGGEST and LONGEST most IMPRESSIVE moustache you’ve ever seen in your entire life. That’s what you want when you’re required to nail every position (according to said moustache man). They seem to flipping through random positions of this book I saw once (or twice) so it was actually a little bit awkward to watch. Particularly since in the book I thought there were only two people, but on screen I’m watching Matt, Elly and Abbie. I’m not 100% sure how I feel about that. Parking it for now.

Chelsie (Stew) won the single date which wasn’t exciting, as they rigged up, abseiled down the side of building and washed some windows.   The cocktail party was a bit interesting, with Sogand (Jess) trying to show a bit more of a… mmm what’s the word… it’s not stripper side, it’s not really sexual side either… I got nothing. Basically because her Persian belly dance looked more like a seizure and I immediately felt compelled to call an ambulance despite watching the recap on 10play.

Elly declared her undying love by presenting Matt with a Flano #straya. Can we pause for second just to appreciate how cunningly she got Matt’s shirt off. Also, he looks pretty good in it. Please refer to previous statement of GAME OVER! SO anyway, the rose ceremony. The dead wood went as expected. Sorry but when people are onto their second single dates and you haven’t had one, safe to say you don’t have the connection. So pleased to see the back of Mary (Mon). If I had to hear “B&^% please” one more time I think I would have drowned in my sav blanc. We all knew gold coast biker Nichole (Suzi) wouldn’t fair well with an Astrophysicist so she went too. We’re getting to the good stuff now.

Stay tuned, this week I have the motivation to write in real time as the man I was supposed to marry (Matty J – season before the honey badger) is making an appearance to provide our Bachie some advice. *SWOOON*

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