LilMamaSuzi

God gave us women breasts for two reasons. 1. To feed babies and 2. So men would have a reason to talk to us. That last one is a joke. This one is more for the new mummies, and in particular, those mummies who maybe didn’t have such a wonderful time breast feeding as they…

When I was about 6, I accidentally shat on a German tourist. We were swimming in a watering hole in the middle of outback Australia and there wasn’t a toilet for miles. I did have the good sense to forewarn my twin brother that a jobbie was forthcoming so after the deed was done, we…

So it’s 8:30pm on a Saturday and I’m lying here in bed trying desperately to fall asleep. Of course this isn’t happening for two reasons. Reason 1. The neighbours next to me actually have a life and are outside in their garden talking loudly about the difference between cloudy apple and regular cidar. I wish…

    So you’ve found out you’re expecting?! Honestly, from the bottom of my heart, congratulations! You have a little person growing inside you that’s equal parts you and your other half. Let’s think about that for a minute… A little person! Equal parts!! A mini you! Exciting indeed! Why am I yelling?!   So,…