Not Today, Satan…

To write this, or not to write this. That is the question. I couldn’t really think of any other way to put it other than to copy the modern day literary genius that is Justin Bieber, who so poignantly said, “And I didn’t wanna write a song ‘cause I didn’t want anyone thinking I still care, I don’t but, you still hit my phone up…” Perfectly fitting for this scenario and here it is… It only took three months but I finally got a text message from Mr. Darcy…

I know what you’re thinking. For I thought the same thing. What. The. Fuck. So not dead, I see? For the vast majority of my friends who had my back through that ghosting experience, that really would have been the only acceptable excuse for him dropping off the face of the planet. The amount of times I heard “what do you mean you just stopped hearing from him? Is he dead?” Just in case you’ve forgotten what Ghosting is, please click here to read this fantastic article which explains why Ghosting after a certain point makes you a horrible human being.

Anyway, after deleting his number out of my phone the text came from an unknown number, so in order not to be rude, I replied. I shouldn’t have deleted it in the first place so I could have immediately responded with;

That comedy moment slipped through my finger tips and I may never get it again. Pity. It didn’t take long to recognize the condescending, I-can’t-answer-a-straight-question, perfectly punctuated writing and so once I realized, I just asked him straight up. Why? WHY ARE YOUR TEXT MESSAGES ALWAYS CORRECTLY SPELLED AND PUNCTUATED!? WHO DOES THAT!? WHY ARE THEY FREE OF ABBREVIATIONS, ACRONYMS AND DIVERGENT EMOJI’S?! WHAT KIND OF MONSTER…

In reality, the why really meant a number of things. Why continue to be involved long past where you wanted? Why give me a hard time about being so guarded only to know when I yielded, you’d disappear? Why did you bait me into feeling something when it wasn’t reciprocated? Why do you always initiate contact FIRST only to withdraw? Instead, it was why did you stop talking to me… Boring, I know. To which he gave some uninspired, unimaginative excuse. Fine, at least he actually is alive. Coulda maybe stayed friends if he’d just said “You’re nice, but this is too complicated,” three odd months ago instead of fading to black…

Contradictory to the last paragraph, no hard feelings though. I’m sounding a little jaded, aren’t I? My apologies, I don’t actually mean to. It just stung a bit back then and it’s mildly irritating now. This blog entry will be the last about this topic and given everything that was left so unresolved, I feel it a fitting way to neatly wrap things up. I’m viewing this as an amazing opportunity to remind myself that I (and all of the elements of my life) am not an inconvenience, a difficulty or a complication. I’m also confident enough to say that the right person will agree, cause baby, I’m worth it.

Aaand there’s your Mic drop, handsome.

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