Category Archives: Uncategorized

So, in case you’ve been living under a rock, The Bachelor 2019 Season Finale happened last night and I have to say, it filled some voids in my heart that I didn’t know were even empty. I lie, they’re all empty. They jetted off to South Africa this time, in a move that would have…

Ep. 15. Ok, last one before the big one. Let’s recap. We have Helena, Abbie and Chelsea left and at the end we’ll have our final two. Chelsea kicks up off with a single date in what is the most openly sweet and dorky thing I’ve ever witnessed in my life. Matt has a present…

Ep. 14. HOME TOWN DATES my friends! This is usually is my favourite part of the series because you 100% get to see how weird some peoples families are. You get some die-hard middle aged-beer drinking-fishing-footy bogan Dads on there determined to mark their territory and find out if this rando is “good enough for…

Ep. 13. It’s official. Love is dead. I am dead. I can’t even attempt to fill you in on what exactly happened in this episode because my heartache is real and it’s clouding my ability to be witty and insightful. In fact I’m sorry this recap is late. I’ve been drinking copious amounts of wine…

Ep. 12.Mate, this ep was a banger. Please read, then click the hyper link and watch the Punkee recap because I laughed so hard on the train I snorted really loudly and guy next to me moved seats. So, continuing on from the awkwardness of Helena’s (Honey) date after being picked by the previous Bach…

Ep. 11.I’ve been waiting for this moment for two years. Matty J’s triumphant return to The Bachelor and my, didn’t he look just as pretty as he did all those moons ago when ice-queen Georgia Love devastated the nation by picking tall tradie Lee for reasons that still keep me up at night. The only…

Ep. 10. Group date is all about yoga pants at the circus with a dude who had THE BIGGEST and LONGEST most IMPRESSIVE moustache you’ve ever seen in your entire life. That’s what you want when you’re required to nail every position (according to said moustache man). They seem to flipping through random positions of…

Ep. 9. Aww my girl! Elly (Suzi) scored her second single date with Matt! YAY! Game over everyone I’ve said it from the start!! They love each other! Anyway, this date is budge-as. A couple of “fire experts” are on hand to let them know how flammable they are, and how dangerous it is because…

Ep. 8. The Abbie (Will)/Sogand (Jess) show, like life imitating art, continues on its merry way with the core of the argument that at 23, Abbie is not ready to get married and have kids. And that makes her a monster?? I’d like to publicly thank channel 10 for setting women’s rights back five decades,…

Ep. 7. Officially this marks the midway point of this season, oh praise Jesus. This ep sucked somewhat, with the fizz of “Dog Carrot-gate” coming to an end. The aftermath has been a bit of Abbie (Will) bashing and a very uneventful confrontation with the Persian Cigar, Sogand (Jess) and went something like “You said…